Concrete jungle where dreams are made of!!!!!!!

There's nothing you can't do, in NEW YOOORRRRRKKKK!!

I had that song in my head THE. ENTIRE. TIME.

But now I'm back and I've got the scars and Playbill to prove it.

Great times were had. New York is one of those places that is just straight up surreal.

Like how in the first 6 hours of being in the city, I saw someone get arrested for shoplifting. Or when I had a total Gossip Girl moment of walking past some teenage girls who were waiting outside a really fancy home on the Upper East Side, texting away on their cell phones dressed in school uniforms. Or seeing all the nannies at the park strolling around with really well-dressed toddlers.

Some notes on New York:

-While I am sure living in New York is slightly less exhausting than playing tourist, I will say visiting is a bit brutal. We’d leave our apartment in Brooklyn around 10:00 a.m. and not come back until 11:00 p.m. And when we did return, we were hurting. One night, my feet were literally swollen. I actually had to soak them in the cold bathtub and do some serious elevating. Sore feet, sore back and I just felt dirty by the time I came home. It was a marathon, everyday. Moleskin was applied to blisters. But of course, worth it.

-Subway rats are gross. Sidewalk rats are more gross. Especially when they scurry out in front of you late at night.

-Contrary to the stereotype, I found New Yorkers to be very nice people. In fact, we didn’t really have to ask for directions. We had a few people just come right up to us and ask where we were going and then proceed to tell us how to get there. I mean, it’s true, people really just keep to themselves and avoid eye contact, but I’m ok with that. It was actually refreshing to know that no one expected me to be out-of-my-way friendly. And my perma-scowl, the one that apparently scared all my existing friends before they knew me, it actually fit right in.

-There are very few overweight people in New York. Or so it seemed. Must be all that walking. Or Armani ads? Actual models you’re forced to see strutting the sidewalks in real life? I don’t know.

-Food is rampant and delicious. My favorites were Shake Shack (the french fries are perfection), Cascabel (tacos!), and the pork dumplings I devoured at the Brooklyn Flea Market.

Other notables: The Met, Central Park Zoo, the MOMA (even though 1/3 of it was closed), matinee of Chicago, breakfast at Mike’s in Brooklyn (best pancakes of my life), paying $12.50 to see Easy A (nothing really to do with New York, well except the $12.50 (!) part but that movie was so, SO funny. Not really for the easily offended, but Emma Stone? She was so great.), and dropping in on Kathryn + family, meeting little (very) Quinn and seeing the amazing view from their roof. Amazing. Truly.

I will say that I did experience some sort of moment of, I don’t know, enlightenment? Panic? I don’t know what it was but as overlooked the city from that roof I was suddenly hit with this realization of how small I really was and how big this world, and that city is. I thought about all the people who are doing really amazing or horrible or crazy things at that exact moment and how anything you want can be found in that place. It was surreal and made my head hurt just a little.

Next time: Attend taping of The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, eat in Little Italy and China Town, buy some street art, Wicked, splurge on a fancy restaurant and avoid flying out of Long Island.

Some iPhone photos below. Although I’m horrible with taking photos, Michelle did take over the camera responsibilities so I'll post those soon.

Waiting for our train.

Dumplings at the Brooklyn Flea Market were delish! Michelle didn't think so, so I ate hers too.

I forget what this place was called, but it was in Soho and claimed to have the world's best chocolate cake. Meh, I've had better.

Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge

Carmine's. Theater district. A friend told us to go here, but failed to mention the portions are meant for groups of 4 or more. It was pretty good though.

My next post will be about that one time I had to spend the night in the Chicago-Midway airport and my coinciding emotional/physical breakdown. Stay tuned. It’s a good one.

Marcel the Shell

I went to a small film festival this weekend in Sugar House Park. This was, far and away, the best film shown.

I don't know, maybe I haven't had much to laugh about recently or maybe I just have a weird sense of humor, but I laughed like I haven't laughed in weeks.

Lighter Notes

I got this on Facebook, but I'm sort of a Facebook snob so I chose to post this in a more exclusive venue. Don't worry, I've got Destinys Child on here. You're welcome.

The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen albums you've heard that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested ...in seeing what albums my friends choose. (I just tag everyone who reads this. So yeah, all 4 of you can participate).


Something Corporate-North

Jack's Mannequin-Everything in Transit

Martina McBride - Greatest Hits

No Doubt - Return to Saturn

Dashboard Confessional - Swiss Army Romance

The Garden State Soundtrack

Green Day - American Idiot

Maren Ord - Waiting

Ben Folds - Rockin' the Suburbs

Destiny's Child -Destiny Fulfilled

Joshua Radin - We Were Here

Clueless Soundtrack

The Format -Interventions and Lullabies

Pretty Woman Soundtrack

The Carpenters - Christmas Collection

Tears were shed in the making of this post.

Things have been rough lately.

I have bummer days and then I have REALLY bummer days.

I'm trying very hard to have a good attitude and outlook on things, my future, etc. But some days it's just too hard to do. It's a lot easier being sad sometimes, ya know?

This is probably really annoying. I mean, more important things are going on in the world than me being lonely. Babies are starving, peoples homes are burning down, and a lot of people don't have jobs. I know. Which makes me feel feeling stupid for complaining.

But this is my life and I'm about to get real here.

Yesterday, my roommate came home early from church. She was noticeably upset. My roommate is 30. She's successful in her job, smart and overall she has her life together. She's started attending a family ward, which she's really enjoyed. But today, when she came home, she started telling me how she's beginning to feel segregated at church, ostracized for being unmarried and without children. She explained to me she wanted to go to a family ward because she was so sick of feeling the pressure of being single. But now they have started planning "Singles FHE" and "Singles Sunday School."

And then she started to cry.

She let out her frustrations with our religion and the culture that comes along with it, especially heightened in Utah. She said she doesn't understand why, because she is not married, she automatically must be grouped with the other 18-65 year old single people in her ward. What does she have in common with an 65 year old single man? Or an 18 year old single girl? If she wanted to have FHE with other single people or attend Sunday School with single people, she would stay in a singles ward.

And as she cried there in our kitchen, I felt sad. Sad for her, sad that she felt so lonely in a place where she should feel the most like she belonged.

I thought about my own situation. 26. Mormon. Not married. Sometimes I too feel that I'm failing at life because I don't have my own family yet. And yes, some days, I envy those women I see walking their little kids to school or pushing strollers at the park. Of course I do. And on days like yesterday, it's particularly hard to be so bombarded with the realization that I'm not where a lot of my peers are in life.

But. But when I'm done crying about it, done being sad about being single again, done second guessing my decision to call off my wedding, I think about what I'm doing and what I've done. I've traveled. I've seen the world. I'm making my own money. I'm taking care of myself. I'm paying my rent. I'm learning about health insurance and how to change the headlights in my car. I'm taking trips with friends and laying out at the pool all Saturday. And most importantly, I'm listening to the spirit and following the answers I get to my prayers and I know Heavenly Father sees the same value in me as the woman next door with three kids. And yes, some days it's harder than others to feel that, but I know it's true. And I know that when I do get married and start having my own kids, I'm going to come to this blog and complain about how tired I am and how hard it is and I'll probably look back and think "I wish I could hop a plane to New York this weekend."

Until then, I'm ok. For whatever reason, I am not meant to fulfill that role yet. But I will and I look forward to that.

But right now I'm going to research restaurants near Central Park because I'll be in New York in about a week.