So, we're good?
Last night Seth came over after I told him I wasn't feeling well. I didn't really want him to come over, but I figured it would be a good time to try and talk to him about what's going on here.
Luckily for me, I didn't have to bring it up.
As soon as he sat down, he asked if "we" were ok. He said he'd been feeling like I was distancing myself and he had been preparing himself for a break-up for the past few days. I didn't really know what to say right away. I was so shocked (thrilled?) that he had been the one to bring it up. After thinking about about what I had been wanting to say all along, I told him I did like him and like spending time him with, but yes, I was trying to distance myself from him. I told him that I thought this whole thing had come about really fast and how I was a little freaked out about it. I also said that I wanted to continue dating him (which I do) but I just wanted to slow it down a little. I explained to him that I enjoy having alone time and that I'm not the kind of person who has to be hanging out every night, all night. He understood, but I could tell he was a little disappointed. He basically poured it all out for me, told me how he felt and didn't think it should be so complicated. I tried to explain to him that I'm not good at being a girlfriend and more specifically, I've been single for so long that I was still getting used to being someones girlfriend. I also told him that I wanted to make sure we really got to know each other before we start like, meeting parents and stuff. It was a good talk. I even told him I hate it when he calls my "baby". He thought that was funny and promised to stop.
So that's what's up now. We'll see what happens. I do want to continue dating him, but after last night, I know his feelings for me are stronger than mine for him and I just don't want to hurt him. That would suck, a lot. It will be good to get away this weekend and to spend some time apart.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Pigeon Problems
The other day, my Mom and I came home to find feathers strewn about the stairs and a dead pigeon lying at the top of them. Niko, aka "The Panther", came aorund the corner with feathers stuck all over him, and a look that was all, "What? How you like me now?"
Forget the fact that this is the second pigeon he's managed to get his claws on and drag into the house. Last week, I came downstairs after hearing some serious commotion in the kitchen to find a sick bird flying all over the place with Niko running around doing his best to take him down. I was able to grab Niko and throw him in the closet before the pigeon, clearly in an intense state of shock, hid out behind the t.v. speaker. After some serious debate as to whether or not I had the guts to pick the thing up, I threw a towel over it, grabbed it and threw it outside. It flew away shaken, but still alive.
Couldn't say that for the second one.
Or who knows, it could have been the same pigeon, back for round 2 with Niko.
Either way, I think it's safe to say that pigeon number 2 didn't really stand a chance, seeing as how it's head was just about torn off. My mom made me pick it up with a dustpin and throw it away while she vaccumed up the mass of feathers and wiped down the smears of blood on the tile (SICK).
Stupid cat.
The other day, my Mom and I came home to find feathers strewn about the stairs and a dead pigeon lying at the top of them. Niko, aka "The Panther", came aorund the corner with feathers stuck all over him, and a look that was all, "What? How you like me now?"
Forget the fact that this is the second pigeon he's managed to get his claws on and drag into the house. Last week, I came downstairs after hearing some serious commotion in the kitchen to find a sick bird flying all over the place with Niko running around doing his best to take him down. I was able to grab Niko and throw him in the closet before the pigeon, clearly in an intense state of shock, hid out behind the t.v. speaker. After some serious debate as to whether or not I had the guts to pick the thing up, I threw a towel over it, grabbed it and threw it outside. It flew away shaken, but still alive.
Couldn't say that for the second one.
Or who knows, it could have been the same pigeon, back for round 2 with Niko.
Either way, I think it's safe to say that pigeon number 2 didn't really stand a chance, seeing as how it's head was just about torn off. My mom made me pick it up with a dustpin and throw it away while she vaccumed up the mass of feathers and wiped down the smears of blood on the tile (SICK).
Stupid cat.
Monday, June 25, 2007
I need it
I am so stoked for the beach this summer. Only 3 more weeks. Last night I was talking to my mom about how excited I am to eat all the yummy food that can only be found while in Rehoboth. I'm probably most excited for crab night. I don't know why, but the last few months I have been on this seafood fix. I just can't get enough of it. Anytime I'm going out to dinner, I want seafood. My favorite item lately has been salmon, lemon dill salmon to be precise. I could eat it every day. I'm obsessed. Anyway, I can't wait the beach, and crab night.
Also, frozen custard. I'm excited for that too.
I'm also looking forward to catching up on some books I have been wanting to read for a while:
1. History of Love by Nicole Krauss...everyone has been reading this and everyone says it's good.
2. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
3. The Road by Cormac McCarthy
4. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. I heard this wasn't as good as the Kite Runner (which I read on the last Rehoboth trip) but we'll see.
Ok. So hopefully I can knock out these four. I'm getting a library card this week so I don't have to buy them. I'm pretty excited. I haven't had a library card in a long time.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Beginning of the End.
My interest in Seth peaked about a week ago and now it's steadily declining. He's still really nice to me, really sweet. Probably too sweet, which is why I think I've lost that loving feeling, ya know? I was talking to him the other day about my Mom coming into town this weekend. I sort of got the inclination that he wanted me to suggest that we all go out to dinner or something so he can meet her. I changed the subject to remove myself from the idea of having him meet my mother. That is weird. Especially since I've never dated anyone long enough for the whole "Meet the Family" thing to happen. I don't even know what that would be like. It was during this thought that it hit me that Seth and I weren't going to work; I know it's not right when I don't want him to be the first guy I introduce my Mom to. As much as I always complain about not having a boyfriend during vacations and holidays, I guess what I'm really saying is I want a boyfriend on vacations and holidays that I know my family will like, and who I know will like my family. My family is crazy, loud, and annoying. I've always thought that the person I bring home to meet my family would be someone I could abandon in a room, full of their opinions and stories flying back and forth , and feel perfectly fine with it. Almost like I know he could keep up with the craziness and totally hold his own. And if he goes golfing with Christian, Ryan and my Dad, I don't have to freak out wondering if he's getting eaten alive. And unfortunately, I don't think Seth could hold his own (he doesn't golf, either). Last night he randomly brought up Sacramento and how boring it was there. The Northern Californian in me took an immediate defensive and started to list off the reason s why Sacramento didn't suck. Of course, I use the Kings as my first bit of proof. I explained to him how much fun going to games were and even threw in the term "spiritual" I think.
He didn't get it.
To put it bluntly, we have nothing in common. He's Battlestar Galactica, I'm ESPN. He'd rather watch a foreign film, I'd rather go play tennis.
This is going to have to end, I just don't want to be the one to end it. I'm always on the other end of the break-up so this is new territory for me. I'll probably wait it out for a few days, maybe a week or so. Hopefully he figures out that I'm not what he's looking for either and it will just take care of itself.
My interest in Seth peaked about a week ago and now it's steadily declining. He's still really nice to me, really sweet. Probably too sweet, which is why I think I've lost that loving feeling, ya know? I was talking to him the other day about my Mom coming into town this weekend. I sort of got the inclination that he wanted me to suggest that we all go out to dinner or something so he can meet her. I changed the subject to remove myself from the idea of having him meet my mother. That is weird. Especially since I've never dated anyone long enough for the whole "Meet the Family" thing to happen. I don't even know what that would be like. It was during this thought that it hit me that Seth and I weren't going to work; I know it's not right when I don't want him to be the first guy I introduce my Mom to. As much as I always complain about not having a boyfriend during vacations and holidays, I guess what I'm really saying is I want a boyfriend on vacations and holidays that I know my family will like, and who I know will like my family. My family is crazy, loud, and annoying. I've always thought that the person I bring home to meet my family would be someone I could abandon in a room, full of their opinions and stories flying back and forth , and feel perfectly fine with it. Almost like I know he could keep up with the craziness and totally hold his own. And if he goes golfing with Christian, Ryan and my Dad, I don't have to freak out wondering if he's getting eaten alive. And unfortunately, I don't think Seth could hold his own (he doesn't golf, either). Last night he randomly brought up Sacramento and how boring it was there. The Northern Californian in me took an immediate defensive and started to list off the reason s why Sacramento didn't suck. Of course, I use the Kings as my first bit of proof. I explained to him how much fun going to games were and even threw in the term "spiritual" I think.
He didn't get it.
To put it bluntly, we have nothing in common. He's Battlestar Galactica, I'm ESPN. He'd rather watch a foreign film, I'd rather go play tennis.
This is going to have to end, I just don't want to be the one to end it. I'm always on the other end of the break-up so this is new territory for me. I'll probably wait it out for a few days, maybe a week or so. Hopefully he figures out that I'm not what he's looking for either and it will just take care of itself.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Big Closets and Big Comebacks
Last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with Katie Holmes and Baby Suri. I think it's because yesterday I saw that Katie had cut her hair and I couldn't get over how bad it looked. Who let her do that? Anyway, in my dream Suri was more like a child, all grown up and talking. Katie didn't say anything to me, but we drove around in this big black van. We stopped at this house that was hosting a party and my friend Eliza was pulling out of the driveway. I started yelling at her to stop, "Eliza!! Stop!!! Look, it's Suri!!!" She did stop and asked me why I was hanging out with Katie Holmes and Suri. I told her I didn't really know, but we were going to pick up Tom Cruise in a minute. That's the last thing I remember. Dreams are weird.
This weekend was pretty quiet. I spent Saturday trying to clean up the house and get some of my things moved into my new bedroom. I started hanging up my clothes in the walk-in closet and began to feel really annoyed that my clothing content only fills up about 1/4 of the closet. Really sad, especially since I'm sure there are people out there who would kill for a walk-in that big, people with lots of nice clothes and shoes who could fill it up easily. I don't know, I guess I just feel like if you have a closet that big, you should be able to fill it up. I decided to organize it by type: Work clothes, weekend clothes, going out clothes, church clothes and cold-weather clothes. This made the empty space less-consolidated and the closet looks a bit fuller, but still. I know better.
Last night I watched Fever Pitch. I love that movie. It's so funny and I always get emotional when the Red Sox come back for 0-3 to beat the Yankees. I mean, how great was that? I remember watching that series in my living room when I lived in a house with 10 girls-10 girls who could care less about baseball and couldn't tell Derek Jeter from Manny Ramierez. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it was just funny. (no offense Michelle, but I'm taking you to a Giants game when I come visit!)
Last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with Katie Holmes and Baby Suri. I think it's because yesterday I saw that Katie had cut her hair and I couldn't get over how bad it looked. Who let her do that? Anyway, in my dream Suri was more like a child, all grown up and talking. Katie didn't say anything to me, but we drove around in this big black van. We stopped at this house that was hosting a party and my friend Eliza was pulling out of the driveway. I started yelling at her to stop, "Eliza!! Stop!!! Look, it's Suri!!!" She did stop and asked me why I was hanging out with Katie Holmes and Suri. I told her I didn't really know, but we were going to pick up Tom Cruise in a minute. That's the last thing I remember. Dreams are weird.
This weekend was pretty quiet. I spent Saturday trying to clean up the house and get some of my things moved into my new bedroom. I started hanging up my clothes in the walk-in closet and began to feel really annoyed that my clothing content only fills up about 1/4 of the closet. Really sad, especially since I'm sure there are people out there who would kill for a walk-in that big, people with lots of nice clothes and shoes who could fill it up easily. I don't know, I guess I just feel like if you have a closet that big, you should be able to fill it up. I decided to organize it by type: Work clothes, weekend clothes, going out clothes, church clothes and cold-weather clothes. This made the empty space less-consolidated and the closet looks a bit fuller, but still. I know better.
Last night I watched Fever Pitch. I love that movie. It's so funny and I always get emotional when the Red Sox come back for 0-3 to beat the Yankees. I mean, how great was that? I remember watching that series in my living room when I lived in a house with 10 girls-10 girls who could care less about baseball and couldn't tell Derek Jeter from Manny Ramierez. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it was just funny. (no offense Michelle, but I'm taking you to a Giants game when I come visit!)
Friday, June 15, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
What to do
I can't decide if I should fly up to Salt Lake tonight for the weekend. A couple friends of mine are getting married and I was going to go up that but now I don't know if it'll be worth it. I have a ticket but I might just save it for something else, like a flight to San Fran to visit Michelle later this summer. That sounds more fun than SLC. Or I might change it and go home for the weekend since my whole family will be in town for Father's Day/Redding Pro-Am. (Good luck Chris and Ryan).
I really have a lot to do around the house, plus I haven't even told my boss that I was going to be gone tomorrow. Not that he'll care, but still. I don't want to be flakey like that. Good thing I'm the most indecisive person ever. Either way, I need to decide soon. It's 5 now and the flight leaves at 10.
I can't decide if I should fly up to Salt Lake tonight for the weekend. A couple friends of mine are getting married and I was going to go up that but now I don't know if it'll be worth it. I have a ticket but I might just save it for something else, like a flight to San Fran to visit Michelle later this summer. That sounds more fun than SLC. Or I might change it and go home for the weekend since my whole family will be in town for Father's Day/Redding Pro-Am. (Good luck Chris and Ryan).
I really have a lot to do around the house, plus I haven't even told my boss that I was going to be gone tomorrow. Not that he'll care, but still. I don't want to be flakey like that. Good thing I'm the most indecisive person ever. Either way, I need to decide soon. It's 5 now and the flight leaves at 10.
Monday, June 11, 2007
I hope I look like Ellen Barkin when I'm 60...
Friday night I went to see Ocean's 13 with Seth (New Guy). He's kind of a movie snob and I could tell he didn't really care to see it, but like I said before, he likes me and is really nice so he sucked it up and went with it. It was a lot better than either of us thought it was going to be. Ocean's 11 is still the best, but I thought this one was definitely better than Ocean's 12. However, did anyone else think Brad Pitt is looking a little old these days? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's still Brad Pitt and I would totally go there but he looks a little weathered. Maybe his acquiring 10 kids in the last two years have left him somewhat haggered? A little too much too soon, maybe? Anyway, I could not get over how great Ellen Barkin looked. I didn't know she was as old as she is until Seth mentioned it after. She's like 60 or something! Her haircut was way cute too and it made me want to cut my hair really bad.
Last night I was over at Seth's house and a friend of his came over. I'd never met him before so we got to talking. He was asking me what I studied in college and what I wanted to do with it. I told him I was interested in advertising/marketing/branding and maybe wanted to work for a big agency. I also mentioned that I was interested in working in political PR. He didn't waste anytime to start questioning me and my personal political viewpoints. I started to explain to him a little about my basic opinions and immediately he was all over it. Ok, I have no problems with someone disagreeing with what I think-none. But when someone starts to attack your character based on what your stance is on very complex issues, I get a littled annoyed. A lot annoyed actually and I definitely got annoyed at this dude. Basically this guy was saying that I had no idea what I was talking about and that I was morally and ethically tainted on where on stood on some issues. I was so irritated that I had to get up and leave the room. This guy is the exact kind of person I am embarassed for. Seriously. I feel bad for him. Anyway...
I'm so over the NBA finals. Is anyone even watching them...besides Spurs fans? I really doubt it. Just give them the trophy already.
Nadal worked Federer in the French this weekend. He is amazing. I'm truly baffled how Federer can roll over everyone else in the field except Nadal. Well at least he can't on clay. Nadal owns clay. And now he owns 3 (consecutive) French Open titles. I REALLY want to go to the US Open this year. My mom owes me a trip to NYC so I really need to make that happen...
This weekend my friends Eric and Ashley are getting married so I'm heading up to Utah. I'm excited to see all my friends I haven't seen in a while and it should be a good time.
Going to cafe Rio for lunch today! I went last week for the Opening and it was packed, full of Mormon people. Kind of funny. Anyway, very excited for my pork salad!
Friday night I went to see Ocean's 13 with Seth (New Guy). He's kind of a movie snob and I could tell he didn't really care to see it, but like I said before, he likes me and is really nice so he sucked it up and went with it. It was a lot better than either of us thought it was going to be. Ocean's 11 is still the best, but I thought this one was definitely better than Ocean's 12. However, did anyone else think Brad Pitt is looking a little old these days? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's still Brad Pitt and I would totally go there but he looks a little weathered. Maybe his acquiring 10 kids in the last two years have left him somewhat haggered? A little too much too soon, maybe? Anyway, I could not get over how great Ellen Barkin looked. I didn't know she was as old as she is until Seth mentioned it after. She's like 60 or something! Her haircut was way cute too and it made me want to cut my hair really bad.
Last night I was over at Seth's house and a friend of his came over. I'd never met him before so we got to talking. He was asking me what I studied in college and what I wanted to do with it. I told him I was interested in advertising/marketing/branding and maybe wanted to work for a big agency. I also mentioned that I was interested in working in political PR. He didn't waste anytime to start questioning me and my personal political viewpoints. I started to explain to him a little about my basic opinions and immediately he was all over it. Ok, I have no problems with someone disagreeing with what I think-none. But when someone starts to attack your character based on what your stance is on very complex issues, I get a littled annoyed. A lot annoyed actually and I definitely got annoyed at this dude. Basically this guy was saying that I had no idea what I was talking about and that I was morally and ethically tainted on where on stood on some issues. I was so irritated that I had to get up and leave the room. This guy is the exact kind of person I am embarassed for. Seriously. I feel bad for him. Anyway...
I'm so over the NBA finals. Is anyone even watching them...besides Spurs fans? I really doubt it. Just give them the trophy already.
Nadal worked Federer in the French this weekend. He is amazing. I'm truly baffled how Federer can roll over everyone else in the field except Nadal. Well at least he can't on clay. Nadal owns clay. And now he owns 3 (consecutive) French Open titles. I REALLY want to go to the US Open this year. My mom owes me a trip to NYC so I really need to make that happen...
This weekend my friends Eric and Ashley are getting married so I'm heading up to Utah. I'm excited to see all my friends I haven't seen in a while and it should be a good time.
Going to cafe Rio for lunch today! I went last week for the Opening and it was packed, full of Mormon people. Kind of funny. Anyway, very excited for my pork salad!
Friday, June 08, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
He better not start calling me 'baby'
So I'm dating someone.
I guess that's what's going on.
I don't even know since it's been a while since I've done this. But really, I am. I don't really want to get into it but let me just say that I'm once again forced to acknowledge all the issues I have regarding guys and that really sucks.
New guy is great. Really great. He treats me better than I've ever been treated before. Says the sweetest things to me, tells me I'm beautiful, opens doors, let's me pick the movie we watch..he even set up a little European picnic in his living room one night after I told him about my trip last year and how much I missed it. I mean, who does that??? Because he is so nice to me and because this is the first time in a long time I've dated someone longer than the shelf life of milk, I'm pretty much starting to freak out. I'm trying to recognize that this is the exact reaction I experience every time I start hanging out with someone. I've also started to pick at the things that I don't like about New Guy, which I've learned is just me being lame and trying to talk myself out of the relationship and I should just shut the hell up. Is it weird that it bugs me that I know who is playing in the NBA finals and he doesn't? It doesn't matter right?? Just because a guy isn't into sports, doesn't mean he should be tossed aside, right? I know this, but things like that just bother me. I'm really trying to appreciate the things that New Guy does like. For example, when he suggested we watch Battlestar Galactica on DVD, I said, "Definitely. I've never seen that show before," when in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "Don't you want to see Nadal's quarterfinal highlights from the French Open?" This type of thinking is exactly why I fail miserably at dating. I have this fantasy of what a guy should be, or at least, the guy I think I want should be. I don't know what's going to happen with New Guy, but for now I'm jut going to accept this whole thing as a practice run; a practice for me to let go of my hang-ups, my insecurities, and to try and be a little less neurotic this time around.
So I'm dating someone.
I guess that's what's going on.
I don't even know since it's been a while since I've done this. But really, I am. I don't really want to get into it but let me just say that I'm once again forced to acknowledge all the issues I have regarding guys and that really sucks.
New guy is great. Really great. He treats me better than I've ever been treated before. Says the sweetest things to me, tells me I'm beautiful, opens doors, let's me pick the movie we watch..he even set up a little European picnic in his living room one night after I told him about my trip last year and how much I missed it. I mean, who does that??? Because he is so nice to me and because this is the first time in a long time I've dated someone longer than the shelf life of milk, I'm pretty much starting to freak out. I'm trying to recognize that this is the exact reaction I experience every time I start hanging out with someone. I've also started to pick at the things that I don't like about New Guy, which I've learned is just me being lame and trying to talk myself out of the relationship and I should just shut the hell up. Is it weird that it bugs me that I know who is playing in the NBA finals and he doesn't? It doesn't matter right?? Just because a guy isn't into sports, doesn't mean he should be tossed aside, right? I know this, but things like that just bother me. I'm really trying to appreciate the things that New Guy does like. For example, when he suggested we watch Battlestar Galactica on DVD, I said, "Definitely. I've never seen that show before," when in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "Don't you want to see Nadal's quarterfinal highlights from the French Open?" This type of thinking is exactly why I fail miserably at dating. I have this fantasy of what a guy should be, or at least, the guy I think I want should be. I don't know what's going to happen with New Guy, but for now I'm jut going to accept this whole thing as a practice run; a practice for me to let go of my hang-ups, my insecurities, and to try and be a little less neurotic this time around.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Weekend
This weekend I went and saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.
3 Reason why I didn't like this movie:
1. Way too long- I should have packed a lunch.
2. They should have added a disclaimer suggesting you take notes. I was entirely confused the whole time.
3. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom don't end up together. I mean they do, but they only get to see each other every 10 years??? I still don't understand why. Because Orlando gets shot and the only way to save him is to make him the captain of that disgusting, crustacean infested ship? Why? Lamest ending ever. Poor Keira. He's still really hot though. I am seriously considering electing him to my top 3.
This weekend I went and saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.
3 Reason why I didn't like this movie:
1. Way too long- I should have packed a lunch.
2. They should have added a disclaimer suggesting you take notes. I was entirely confused the whole time.
3. Keira Knightly and Orlando Bloom don't end up together. I mean they do, but they only get to see each other every 10 years??? I still don't understand why. Because Orlando gets shot and the only way to save him is to make him the captain of that disgusting, crustacean infested ship? Why? Lamest ending ever. Poor Keira. He's still really hot though. I am seriously considering electing him to my top 3.
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