It's All Relative

No sleep for the weary

I've been sleeping horribly lately. It takes me hours to fall asleep and when I do, I'm waking up what seems like every 10 minutes. The lame part is that it's not that I'm not tired, I am, it's just my mind won't shut up already and leave me the freak alone. Like right now, I would love to hop into bed and stay there until tomorrow, but it's just not working out.

Here's a running list of things my thoughts are plagued with while I'm laying in bed:

I need to remember to turn my shoulders when I hit my backhand.

I really should have beat that woman I played on Saturday. She was like 60 years old and wearing a rayon tracksuit.

I should have gone into nursing. I could work anywhere.

I just don't understand how people can be voting for John McCain. I just don't.

Why is Pip obssessd with me? Why won't he leave me alone and stop biting my toes?

I mean, it's not even because I am a Democrat. The dude is just straight up crazy....McCain I mean, not Pip.

Although, Pip is crazy too.

What's that chicks name on SNL that does the Suze Orman impression? She is so awesome.

I wonder what Suze Orman would tell me to do to avoid a financial disaster.

Suze Orman would totally yell at me for not having enough savings.

I didn't know Suze Orman was a lesbian.

Rachel Maddow is a lesbian. She's really smart.

I wish I was smarter. I wonder how I would do on the GRE.

Maybe I should go to grad school and wait out this recession.

Seriously, if John McCain is elected, I'm moving to the Caribbean.