It's All Relative

Laws of attraction, or physics, or whatever.

I believe there is a grace period after the end of a relationship; a period of time in which one is free from the emotional grind that eventually rears its ugly and depressing head after a few days, or weeks of being alone again.

Break-ups generally happen because something in the relationship has been deemed by one or both partners as "broken,"

"He doesn't understand me."

"We don't mesh."

"I'm just not into him."

"We have nothing in common."

*"He isn't going to med school."

Or whatever it may be.

In my experience, well lately at least, there comes a point early on in dating someone where you realize it's just over. It's not going to work, no matter how nice he is, how well he dresses or how hot he looks in a backwards baseball hat. You just don't feel it like you need to.

Generally, you know it's a good decision to break-up as soon as it's done. As soon as you walk back to your car, turn the engine and drive away; finally able to breathe without a pit of anxiety simmering away in your stomach. No more obligatory phone calls, dates or kisses. The chains are off and it's back to being all about you.

Enter grace period.

My grace periods tend to last 2 weeks. Two weeks of contentment and ease, without more than a passing thought about the person I parted ways with.

But, like most grace periods, there comes a point where you're lying in bed one night and boom. YOU MISS HIM.

Maybe he wasn't that annoying when he laughed...

It was sort of cute that he always wanted to be holding my hand, right?

Do I really care that he wasn't employed?

Will I ever find anyone that looks that irresistible in a backwards baseball hat?

The end of the grace period is a good time to lock away your phone in an attempt to avoid breakdown phone calls or texts. Who are you kidding when you just want to see how he's been doing?

It's like that Rilo Kiley song....

"I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you

but just bein' around you offers me another form of relief

When the lonliness leads to bad dreams

and the bad dreams lead me to calling you

and I call you and say, 'C'MERE!."

Nothing has changed. You're still just not that into him....with or without that baseball hat. Don't get yourself back into that ulcer-inducing state of, "How Did I Get Here and How Do I Get Out." That's no fun for anyone.

And also like grace periods, you eventually have to pay up; pay the emotional fees you contracted to pay when you decided get all involved and what not.

Getting involved is so overrated sometimes.

A backwards baseball hat is not.

* I would never not date someone because they weren't in med school. In fact, I've never dated someone in med school.